This is my miracle baby, saying hi for the first time. Isn’t she cute? She’s just days shy of her 6th month. Oh how I am enjoying every moment with her that my wife and I both wished we could have had her earlier – for people who truly treasure their intimacy and privacy, this thought has been most unexpected. So why have we thought otherwise? Because our infant can just melt our hearts away in indescribable ways – just by being her.
We might never have seen her cuteness. How close we were to that. I remember my baby scan experience at 20 weeks. All her parts were formed and her organs in placed and functioning. She was definitely human and living. Moving, blinking, heart-beating, swallowing, punching mummy. I saw all of that. However, she was just about 500 grams, probably the size of my fist, and too little to survive the world on her own. So when my wife was threatened with early labour at 21 weeks, we did all we can to keep this baby. I pleaded with God that He will let me see my child no matter what – even for a day, for an hour, but let me see, hold and pour my love on my child. Then, live with more non-regrettable pain for the rest of my life. Because I wanted my child to be able to feel that she’s loved, despite her short time; and she’s worthy enough to come into this world, even if it brings more unforgettable pain for the rest of my life.
Every child has a worth that transcends even what his parents think of him. Every fetus has a right that transcends even what society accords to him. This is why I thought, while we should not judge anyone who has had an abortion, society must never normalize abortion. Even in difficult situations, society should encourage adoption over abortion. It’s a life after all. And it can only be for the good of mankind. For children – they will be given a chance to live. For parents – they will be given the chance to rise above self-love. We need more self-less forms of love to be promoted, rather than selfish forms of love, for society to be strong.
Also, in much of life, the more vulnerable and incapable a person is in speaking up for his rights, the more responsibility there is on the part of everyone in the society to speak up for this person. The baby in the womb has to be the most vulnerable human being then, who is completely incapable of speaking up. Shouldn’t there then be a voice that speaks up for all of them then to say, “Choose adoption, when you want to abort?”
To anyone who even attempts to imply that a fetus is non-living or non-human, ask them this question: How would you like it that while you were still a fetus, your neck was snipped, your body torn apart, and your life is snuffed out, without you even able to make a single statement? I find it an irony that one can even find the decency to use speech to defend such a stand, when they should know that they have ruthlessly denied the most vulnerable, defenseless human-being, of his right to speech – forever – and to condemn him to death.
This is not about stigmatizing abortionists but educating the young. You see, pro-abortion lobbyists and organizations are likely motivated to help guilt-ridden women get out of their sorrow. This is a good intention. However, as a counselor, I understand how denial of guilt and ignoring the human’s conscience, never really could help anyone. Yet this is how humans tend to react to pain – ignore, avoid, escape, numb, substitute with pleasure, deny its existence – do anything but to face up to the reality of it. Then, we thought we have advanced humankind when we are able to build up a whole society that pretends to have forgotten about our painful past. Yet the pain will not disappear. It will only reappear in more devastating forms.
The real help then, is not to deny reality, but to admit it and grieve. No one can grow until he has accepted reality. No one can move on from pain until he has grieved over his pain.
This is one reason why many pro-adoption activists are people who had gone through abortions themselves – they had experienced the pain and grieved – and moved on.
Perhaps many of us need to renounce our thinking ways that have caused us to deny reality, or even take sides because of emotions. With the many movements, and voices in society today, we must discern more objectively: What are the truths; which are the facts; where are the statistics; and how are the consequences? We must go beyond the Hollywood dressing, the biased advertising, the surface image, the manipulated media, the relentless voices, and dig deep into understanding the true reality, rather than the facade.
Individually and collectively as a society, we need less undiscerning talk, but more deliberate investigation.
For those who still think and believe that fetuses are non-living humans but just a lump of cells, my simple question to you is, “What if you are wrong?” Even if you believe that a fetus is too small to feel, the fetus is still a life. If you could even be 1% wrong, you could be promoting murder.
It is better to be unsure on the safe side, than to commit a heinous mistake on the confident side.
May all children who are meant to be, be; and may society help, celebrate and welcome them.